The Day My Mom Murdered Me In Church

This is an illustration of a woman with a 1950s hairdo winking.

Image via Flickr Creative Commons by Joseph Francis

When you resurrect your participation in childhood activities you loved – which I highly recommend, by the way – you automatically summon happy childhood memories. Joining a new church choir did it for me, bringing me back to one of my favorite moments: the Sunday morning my mom murdered me while I sang All Things Bright and Beautiful with the church youth choir.

How is Murder happy, you ask? Let me explain, starting with the present. (more…)


Coffee Shop Courage

The other night my husband, teenage son and I watched the latest episode of Under The Dome. When it was over, my husband grabbed the remote control to look for something else to watch. The movie, We Bought a Zoo, appeared on a channel.

“Oh that’s a great movie! Let’s watch it!” I said.

I have never seen two males scatter to other areas of the house so quickly. And I don’t understand what they don’t like about the movie. It has an all-star cast. I mean, Scarlett Johansson is in it. The kid from Under The Dome is in it. How bad could it be for a guy to watch?

Very bad, apparently. (more…)

Why the Existence of my Purse is Evidence of the General Goodness of Humanity

If you are going to be a purse of mine (like you have a choice when I’ve plucked you off the bargain table at Nordstrom’s), you have to be very independent with the ability not to panic in the face of unintentional temporary abandonment. I’m sorry to say that such abandonment could happen anytime, anyplace: on the bus between terminals at Heathrow Airport (1990), under the seat at any movie theater or play (1996, 1997, 2000, 2003, 2004, 2009), at church on Christmas Eve (2012), at a McDonald’s PlayPlace (2000), at the Pizza Chef in New London, New Hampshire (2011), or at the Container Store (2013) among other places. (more…)