Welcome, Thieves!

You know when you’re far away from your house and you realize that you left the garage door open? Well, that didn’t happen to me.

This is a picture of an open door leading into a house.

Scary to think what could have happened.

I mean, yes, I left the garage door open but no, I didn’t realize it. Not at the doctor’s office. Not at the Original Pancake House. Not at Ikea. And not at the grocery store. Six hours worth of not realizing my house was open for looting. It was like I was inviting everyone in to help themselves to our mountain bikes, ladders and power tools. And everything in our house. 

Leaving the garage door open in the city is bad. Plenty of things get stolen around here. My next door neighbor chains his grill to his gutter when he cooks outside because hungry thieves took off with his last grill – and the steaks that were cooking on it.

I’m not sure how the door got left open because I always check that when I leave. On that day, however, I was taking my son to get his sinus surgery splints out and run several errands so maybe I was in a rush. Maybe I forgot.

The inside door to the house was unlocked, so anything could have happened. But my son and I glanced around each room and everything appeared to be how we left it. We decided to chalk it up to things that “just happen” and felt fortunate that we seemed to have escaped unharmed.

Then I noticed the gas stove top. With a flame going on one of the small burners.

Before we’d left for the doctor’s office, I’d made lunch – grilled cheese. Apparently, in addition to not closing the garage door, I’d forgotten to turn the stove off. The house could have burned down. The dog could have died. It could have been a tragedy. But it wasn’t. I don’t know why I got lucky twice that day but I’m grateful.

grain_brain_number1_best_sellerMaybe I’m suffering Grain Brain. As you can see from the list of accolades, people seem to think this guy knows what he’s talking about. If you’re not familiar with the premise of the book, Dr. David Perlmutter basically proposes that eating too much wheat, carbs and sugar kills your brain. And I did have grilled cheese on wheat right before I left the garage door wide open. Perhaps important parts of my brain were murdered by those carbs. Or maybe I’m just a little forgetful, a fact I recalled in my post about my purse’s nine lives. Whatever the case, I think I’ll increase my dosage of fish oil. Knowing me, I’ll probably read the book, too.

I know these types of things run in threes, so when I dropped a $20 bill today on the way home from lunch with a friend I was sure I would find it. After backtracking several times, however, I realized it was hopeless. My lucky streak had run out. But it’s OK. I’ll gladly pay $20 for those two lucky passes I got the other day. I hope someone is enjoying a meal on me and I’m grateful to still have a home, a dog and my mountain bikes.

A few power tools I might have been fine parting with…but that’s another story.


5 thoughts on “Welcome, Thieves!

  1. Funny, you made me realize how nice it is to live in a Mayberry kind of town. My husband leaves the garage door open all the time when he’s home (it bugs me, but he thinks it’s more convenient) and I don’t really worry at all about anything being stolen. But I’ve lived in south Florida, where your bike would be stolen if you left it outside for a moment, so I know what you’re talking about. Glad you didn’t have any thieves, and that the house didn’t burn down! Not sure how old you are, but I think foggy brain is one of the symptoms of perimenopause 🙂 Seems like every symptom I have lately is on that list.

    Liked by 1 person

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